Encantar-se

Dizia-me ela ao fim do encontro, encantar-se é cantar para dentro. Uma espécie de canto de si. Gostei, disse, depois pensei, também é colocar-se num canto e dali olhar para o mundo outra vez. Pode ser um ensimesmamento, pode. De quando em quando, penso, precisamos nos acasular para ar o tranco da vida. Respirar mais tranquilamente, pelo menos enquanto ainda temos árvores ao redor. Não sei você, mas às vezes fico receosa diante de determinados comportamentos da sociedade em que vivemos. Há uma gente muito nervosa, sem paciência, querendo tudo para ontem. Desconfio de quem mantém arinhos presos em gaiolas, salvos de qualquer salvação, de gente que joga livros no lixo ou os queima, se colocando como arautos do desconhecimento. Sei que somos essas criaturas estranhas cheias de entranhas, todos muito iguais, e que por isso não se condena ninguém. Mas pensar sobre é um modo de tentar fazer diferente. Também sei que só o tempo nos ensina a encontrar primaveras debaixo de pedras. 

Encantar-se com a beleza do prosaico não é vacina contra as doenças do mundo. Às vezes a vida tem dentes afiados demais. É na andança da vida que descobrimos que há pessoas que são becos sem saída, porta sem chave. Mudar é um desejo de cada um. Tem gente que acha que não precisa mudar. Essas não mudam mesmo. Ficam os outros, mudos, diante da impossibilidade imposta. Como faremos para viver juntos? Este é um questionamento de resposta muito complexa do qual não tenho resposta. Mas sei que tentamos todos os dias, cada um a seu modo. Insistimos até descobrir que às vezes é melhor desistir. 

Às vezes precisamos nos haver com nossa própria melancolia diante dos dias. Não falo aqui daquela que é diagnosticada, mas, sim, de quando nos damos conta da nossa impotência. Perceber-se finito pode sugerir um gosto amargo para nossas vontades de sermos importantes na jornada de mudança de uma determinada pessoa ou situação. Só que se o outro não quiser mudar, ele não vai mudar, esqueça. Dar-se conta desta realidade pode doer, mas também faz sentir, porque tem gente que não sente nada e fica sorrindo o tempo todo, um sorriso completamente vazio e insignificante. Nestas horas é melhor chorar. Chorar nos conecta com aquilo que dói, e se tá doendo precisamos fazer algo. 

Esta espécie de tristeza que nos visita de quando em quando, é uma espécie de sombra que nos ajuda a dar novas formas e sentidos para nós mesmos e nossas relações. Nos põe perto dos nossos desejos e do quanto nos esforçamos para caber no desejo do Outro. Se você não está feliz, reconheça. É nos dando conta de nossa infelicidade que temos coragem de nos levantar da sala de visitas, parar de atender a demanda do outro e correr atrás do que realmente queremos para nós mesmos. O quanto desejar que o outro mude é desculpa para que nós não mudemos"> 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